I was one of those little girls who pretended to get married starting at age three or four. I’d wear my lace slip with the pink bow, stick a piece of lace fabric on my head as a veil, and carry a giant coloring book as a bouquet (yes, you read that correctly).
Over the years, my life and views changed, and I’m very thankful I didn’t get married in university or immediately afterwards. Instead, I had time to work, continue figuring out myself and life, make some questionable decisions, and get published(!). However, once I started dating A, I began to ponder my last name.
Historically, I couldn’t wait to take my husband’s last name, but, like I said, I changed. I liked my last name, it was my identity, and I valued the connection I felt to my family (granted, my father’s side). Thus began my ongoing internal (and external—ask my colleagues) argument for keeping, changing, or hyphenating my name (I’ll save the subject of women changing their name for another post).
*Spoiler* I decided to hyphenate.
It allows me to stay connected to who I am and embrace my new family. But, now I’m facing the conundrum of deciding what my “writer’s name” will be from this point—and I have to decided ASAP (I have a new article coming out next week!!!). Do I continue with my published name for continuity and to honor the career I started and the work I did before marriage? Should I hyphenate, to stay current with who I am and recognize my husband (after all, he is my biggest fan and pushes me and celebrates my victories)? I’ll let you know what I decide (actually…through this process, I think I’ve decided)!
Have you experienced this situation? What did you do? I’d love to hear your thoughts!